No Excuse Sunday

To make it possible for everyone to attend worship next Sunday we are having a ‘No Excuse Sunday’.

Beds will be placed in the aisles for people who say ‘Sunday is my only day to have a long lie in’

Eye lotion will be provided for those who watched TV too late the previous night.

We will have steel helmets for those who say ‘The roof will cave in if ever I came to church’.

Blankets will be available for those who say church is too cold - and fans for those who think it is too hot.

We will have hearing aids for those who say ‘The minister speaks too softly and cotton wool for those who feel he preaches too long, or that the organist plays too loudly.

Score cards will be available for those wishing to list all the hypocrites present.

There will also be T.V. dinners for those who can’t go to church and cook on the same day.

One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to see God in nature.

Finally, the church will be decked out with Christmas decorations and Easter flowers for those who have never seen the place without them.

So there is no excuse for staying away.

Origin Unknown